Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Author's Assistant: Everyone Loves Free Stuff

Guess what? It's my birthday!!! In honor of my birthday, I wanted to give one of you a present. So besides the book launch giveaway that's still going on (you can find that here), I'm hosting a separate giveaway today :) In order to enter, all you have to do is comment on this post with a marketing tip or prompt - who knows, you might even be quoted in part 2 of "A Year of Book Marketing"... Speaking of which here's today's entry:

?Don?t be an expert, be a filter.?

Being an expert in your niche will help you sell books. But one thing that is needed more than another expert, is someone to filter all of the experts that are already out there. Most authors don?t realize it, but promoting other authors in their niche, is a great marketing tactic. Do you write fiction novels? Write what you like about another author?s book(s). Do you write non-fiction? Let your readers know what you?re reading, or what books you would recommend.

Besides providing your readers a filter, promoting other authors in your niche is also a great networking opportunity. Let them know that?you've?reviewed their book, or that you?re promoting it and ask if they have anything they would like you to include ? they might just decide to return the favor.

Marketing prompt:

Write a book review of a book similar to yours for your blog ? remember the golden rule. If you don?t want that author to turn around and say the same thing about you, don?t say it about them.

Days to go: 342?

And of course, here's the free stuff I mentioned:

I don't know what genre you write in, but I'm currently looking for people to review my book. If you already have a copy of my book, I'd love it if you could take a moment to review it in one or more of the following places:

If you don't have a copy, but would like to review it for me please send me an e-mail at: authorassistant@hotmail.com and I'll get a review copy to you. Note: to get a free review copy, you must agree to post a review on both your blog and one or more of the above places within 1 month.

My Birthday Giveaway:

Comment below with a book marketing tip or prompt to be entered to win a FREE book marketing plan package. Here's what's included:

  • Building a Book Marketing Plan Report
  • Book Marketing Profile Template
  • Book Marketing Tracking Sheet
  • Marketing Checklist
  • And a Mini Book Launch Report
Entry requirements:
You must first comment with a book marketing tip or prompt in the comments section of this blog - this is a required entry to win. By commenting you grant me the right to use your comment in the second half of my book if I choose to do so.

For additional entries:

  • Share about this giveaway on Facebook
  • Share about this giveaway on Twitter
  • Write a blog post about this giveaway?
  • Write a blog post about "A Year of Book Marketing - Part 1" and link back to the launch page.

All entries must be left in separate comments with the links to the posts to be counted, and the will only count if you have submitted the required entry of a marketing tip or prompt.

Source: http://authorheatherhart.blogspot.com/2013/01/Birthday-Giveaway.html

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Video: Michelle Obama, President Obama dance at inaugural ball (cbsnews)

Share With Friends: Share on FacebookTweet ThisPost to Google-BuzzSend on GmailPost to Linked-InSubscribe to This Feed | Rss To Twitter | Politics - Top Stories News, News Feeds and News via Feedzilla.

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Friday, January 18, 2013

Slut Shaming

Seeing as "bullshit that society tells us" was locked, I decided to make another post on the topic of slut shaming because there are a lot of misconceptions about this topic and I think a lot of them are really dangerous and need to be adressed.

In the United States we portray "sluts" as women who are not conservative of the way they dress or present themselves, and have a lot of sexual parters and/or sexual activity of any kind. We go on to characterize these women as being illogical, irrational, having low self esteem and low self respect and negatively compete with other women. When you call a girl a "slut" you describe "regular girls" as being something different from these "sluts". The problem is, when you label these "sluts" as in other, that is something different from regular or normal people, you're perpetuating the stereotype that women who have a lot of sex are not as worthy of respect as women who don't.

Good things happen to "regular girls" and "sluts" get hurt. By saying this you're keeping the stereotype alive that women who have a lot of sex are weak, and stupid, and unwanted temptresses. When women say that about other women, it supports that kind of thinking in men. And when men don't see "sluts" as real people, as regular girls, then for some men that makes it okay for them, it helps them justify hurting or disrespecting these women. And that is how rape happens.

Someone said "if you see a girl that's blackout drunk who's about to go home with some guy she doesn't know you should go up and talk to her to discourage her from making dumb decisions" I believe they had honest and good intentions by saying this but there are also a lot of problems with it. When a women is blackout drunk, and doesn't know where she is or what she's doing you're not saving her from making a dumb decision you're saving her from being raped . "Stupid decisions" implies that there was a two way street here, that's not how rape works. When a man has sex with a women who is incapacitated, too drunk to know what she's doing, unconscious, asleep or otherwise incapable of making a sober decision that's rape every single time. The sex that occurs in that situation is never a dumb decision made by a dumb slut, it's rape.

There in lies another issue with separating "regular girls" from "sluts". When we make the situation we start to justify that if a "regular girl" is attacked in an alley that's rape but if a slut goes home with someone making a dumb decision, that's her being stupid. The problem is that the majority of rape doesn't come from a mass attacker, but these "sluts" hear things like this and they internalize it, blame themselves for their assault, and feel like if they had made better decisions they wouldn't have been raped. That leads to people not reporting their assault, leads to people not talking about their assault, and leads to people not understanding what assault is, therefore putting other people in the position to have it happen to them as well.

This is also a much bigger problem then most people realize. According to the rape abuse and incest national network, one out of every six american women has been a victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. That means that with out a doubt, several if not many of the women you have met or encountered in your life have already been raped, or sexually assaulted. Also 44% of rape victims are under 18 and 80% are under thirty. When you shame "sluts" for making "stupid decisions" you're shaming a large portion of women for things that have already happened to them that were not their fault, dehumanizing and comparing them to animals or people who aren't as highly evolved, or less capable of making rash decisions as monogamous people. By doing so you are enforcing the thinking that the most horrible thing that's ever happened to them was a result of them being stupid or animalistic.

Disclaimer: There are a lot of points in this post that I did not touch on, keep in mind I used "women" and "girls" in particular for this post about slut shaming just because 9 out of 10 sexual assaults happen to females, I did not mean to devalue or erase the issues of men, or otherwise identifying other kinds of people who have had these things happen to them.

Here is the news article that provoked a lot of outcry in the media and sort of sparked this discussion:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/sport ... wanted=all
And here's a video by Laci Green that sums up slut shaming and most likely explains it better than I did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCw2MzKjpoo&t=1m46s

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RolePlayGateway/~3/QeYR-NKZq74/viewtopic.php

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AP sources: Obama team to form agenda group

FILE - In this Jan. 14, 2013 file photo, President Barack Obama speaks during the last news conference of his first term in the East Room of the White House in Washington. Obama's political organization is forming an outside, nonprofit group to support the president's legislative agenda. The unprecedented move gives Obama a way to promote his agenda outside the confines of the White House and seeks to harness the energy from his re-election campaign into support for legislation. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

FILE - In this Jan. 14, 2013 file photo, President Barack Obama speaks during the last news conference of his first term in the East Room of the White House in Washington. Obama's political organization is forming an outside, nonprofit group to support the president's legislative agenda. The unprecedented move gives Obama a way to promote his agenda outside the confines of the White House and seeks to harness the energy from his re-election campaign into support for legislation. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

(AP) ? In an unprecedented move, President Barack Obama's vaunted political organization is being turned into a nonprofit group ? funded in part by corporate money ? to mobilize support behind the president's second-term agenda.

Democratic officials familiar with the plan said Thursday the tax-exempt organization will be called Organizing for Action and seek to harness the energy of the president's re-election campaign for future legislative fights. Officials said the group will be separate from the Democratic National Committee and advocate on key policy issues such as gun control and immigration, train future leaders and devote attention to local issues around the nation.

The president's 2012 campaign manager, Jim Messina, will serve as the group's national chairman, and White House official Jon Carson is leaving the administration to become its executive director. The officials said the organization plans to accept donations from individuals and corporations ? and disclose their identities ? but not take money from lobbyists and political action committees, a move in line with donor rules set up for the president's Inaugural Committee. It will have offices in Washington and Chicago, the officials said.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the plans ahead of an announcement on Friday.

Coming just days before Obama's second inauguration, the move represents the first time a sitting president has ever transformed his presidential campaign operation into an outside group with the express purpose of promoting his agenda.

Obama campaign aides and volunteers are expected to discuss the group at a conference on Sunday focused on the future of the campaign organization and the president's legacy.

The new Obama group was first reported Thursday by the Los Angeles Times.

The group's board of directors will include several former White House and campaign aides, including former White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, top campaign officials Stephanie Cutter, Jennifer O'Malley-Dillon and Julianna Smoot, and Frank White, a businessman and prominent Obama donor.

White House aide David Plouffe, the 2008 campaign manager, is expected to join the board after he leaves the administration later this month. Obama campaign senior adviser David Axelrod will serve as a consultant to it.

Obama's political apparatus, which paired traditional grassroots techniques with cutting-edge technology to fundamentally change the electorate, was groundbreaking when it was created for the 2008 campaign. It signed up legions of backers, collected information about them and linked them to each other through the Internet. It also used sophisticated new tools ? and mounds of data it had culled ? to identify sporadic or new voters, and ensure they turned out on Election Day.

Huge numbers of minority, young and first-time voters went to the polls to carry Obama to victory.

After he won, Obama decided to house the backbone of his campaign ? his massive email list, which at the time included roughly 12 million to 13 million contacts, its technological functions and its network of neighborhood team leaders ? at the DNC, which historically has served as the president's political arm.

The grass-roots mobilizing and fundraising operation was dubbed Organizing for America, and it sought to marshal support for Obama's health care overhaul during the first term. But it struggled to have much impact on the divisive debate and essentially became a campaign-in-waiting for Obama ahead of his re-election race.

When Obama launched his 2012 campaign, he had a full-scale political operation at the ready. It raised more than $1 billion and used high-tech tools to identify supporters and turn them out in droves. He also used it to mobilize grassroots supporters behind efforts to extend the payroll tax cut, federal student aid benefits and recent efforts to raise taxes on the wealthy.

Since Obama's re-election, one question in Democratic circles has been whether Obama would turn over his operation to the DNC to build the party for the future ? or whether he would use it to protect his legacy.

After surveying its members, Obama's re-election campaign team considered housing the organization within the DNC but decided to become a nonprofit because it was the best way for campaign volunteers to stay together as a group and advocate for issues they care about.

Yet the decision to be separate from the DNC could rile some Democrats who have grumbled that the president was more interested in protecting his own "brand," in political speak, than in building the party.

The group will be a 501 (c) (4) under the federal tax code, which grants tax-exempt status as long as organizations are not primarily involved in activity that could influence an election. As a nonprofit, it could run ads advocating support for an issue but could not be involved in political activity aimed at electing Democratic candidates.

Campaign finance experts said the creation of a nonprofit group with close ties to the president could raise questions on how donations from corporations might influence federal policy. Craig Holman, who lobbies on ethics and campaign finance for the watchdog group Public Citizen, said if the group receives corporate and special interest money, it could "pose some very serious problems."

The decision by the group to accept corporate donations also reflects Obama's shifting stance on campaign finance. He criticized pay-for-access activities during his first campaign and was a vocal opponent of "super" political action committees, which can raise and spend unlimited funds to help candidates. Obama later signed off on Democrats creating super PACs when he faced tens of millions in spending by allies of his Republican campaign challengers.

___

Follow Ken Thomas on Twitter: http://twitter.com/AP_Ken_Thomas

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/89ae8247abe8493fae24405546e9a1aa/Article_2013-01-18-Obama-Outside%20Group/id-2b9871faef694426a95806465ed479db

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Separating gases using a rigid polymer sieve

Separating gases using a rigid polymer sieve [ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 17-Jan-2013
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Victoria Dando
dandov2@cardiff.ac.uk
44-292-087-9074
Cardiff University

More efficient gas separations can be achieved using a new polymer that selectively sieves gas molecules

Gas separation is crucial for many industrial processes including obtaining nitrogen or oxygen from air and purifying natural gas or hydrogen. Currently, the most energy efficient method for separating gases involves polymer membranes, however, most polymers either let gases pass through slowly (i.e. have low permeability) or are not selective towards one gas over another. Gas separation would be cheaper and use less energy if polymer membranes could be made both highly permeable and selective.

A team from the University's School of Chemistry reports in the journal Science a new polymer that efficiently separates gas mixtures based on the different sizes of the gas molecules. The polymer's molecular structure is very contorted so that it cannot fill space efficiently, therefore leaving gaps for small gas molecules to move through quickly. However, the transport of larger gas molecules is hindered by the polymer's extreme rigidity so that it acts as an efficient molecular sieve.

The Cardiff's team's collaborators at the Institute on Membrane Technology, ITM-CNR, Italy, confirmed that membranes prepared from the polymer are both highly permeable to gases and demonstrate remarkable selectivity for smaller gases such as hydrogen or oxygen over larger gases such as nitrogen or methane.

Professor Neil McKeown, a member of the School of Chemistry's team behind the research said: "The preparation of this highly rigid and contorted polymer required us to develop a new polymerisation reaction. In fact we used some very old chemistry the formation of Trger's base, which is a compound that was first prepared 125 years ago. This simple chemistry allows us to prepare highly rigid ladder polymers of high molecular mass from readily available starting materials. In addition to making polymers for efficient gas separation membranes, we anticipate that this new process will be useful for preparing polymers for a variety of different applications".

Cardiff University has applied for a patent covering this new polymerisation process.

###

Notes to editors

Cardiff University is recognised in independent government assessments as one of Britain's leading teaching and research universities and is a member of the Russell Group of the UK's most research intensive universities. Among its academic staff are two Nobel Laureates, including the winner of the 2007 Nobel Prize for Medicine, University President Professor Sir Martin Evans.

Founded by Royal Charter in 1883, today the University combines impressive modern facilities and a dynamic approach to teaching and research. The University's breadth of expertise in research and research-led teaching encompasses: the humanities; the natural, physical, health, life and social sciences; engineering and technology; preparation for a wide range of professions; and a longstanding commitment to lifelong learning. Three major new Research Institutes, offering radical new approaches to neurosciences and mental health, cancer stem cells and sustainable places were announced by the University in 2010. www.cardiff.ac.uk

For further information: Victoria Dando, Public Relations, Cardiff University, Tel: 02920 879074; email: dandov2@cardiff.ac.uk



[ Back to EurekAlert! ] [ | E-mail | Share Share ]

?


AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


Separating gases using a rigid polymer sieve [ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 17-Jan-2013
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Victoria Dando
dandov2@cardiff.ac.uk
44-292-087-9074
Cardiff University

More efficient gas separations can be achieved using a new polymer that selectively sieves gas molecules

Gas separation is crucial for many industrial processes including obtaining nitrogen or oxygen from air and purifying natural gas or hydrogen. Currently, the most energy efficient method for separating gases involves polymer membranes, however, most polymers either let gases pass through slowly (i.e. have low permeability) or are not selective towards one gas over another. Gas separation would be cheaper and use less energy if polymer membranes could be made both highly permeable and selective.

A team from the University's School of Chemistry reports in the journal Science a new polymer that efficiently separates gas mixtures based on the different sizes of the gas molecules. The polymer's molecular structure is very contorted so that it cannot fill space efficiently, therefore leaving gaps for small gas molecules to move through quickly. However, the transport of larger gas molecules is hindered by the polymer's extreme rigidity so that it acts as an efficient molecular sieve.

The Cardiff's team's collaborators at the Institute on Membrane Technology, ITM-CNR, Italy, confirmed that membranes prepared from the polymer are both highly permeable to gases and demonstrate remarkable selectivity for smaller gases such as hydrogen or oxygen over larger gases such as nitrogen or methane.

Professor Neil McKeown, a member of the School of Chemistry's team behind the research said: "The preparation of this highly rigid and contorted polymer required us to develop a new polymerisation reaction. In fact we used some very old chemistry the formation of Trger's base, which is a compound that was first prepared 125 years ago. This simple chemistry allows us to prepare highly rigid ladder polymers of high molecular mass from readily available starting materials. In addition to making polymers for efficient gas separation membranes, we anticipate that this new process will be useful for preparing polymers for a variety of different applications".

Cardiff University has applied for a patent covering this new polymerisation process.

###

Notes to editors

Cardiff University is recognised in independent government assessments as one of Britain's leading teaching and research universities and is a member of the Russell Group of the UK's most research intensive universities. Among its academic staff are two Nobel Laureates, including the winner of the 2007 Nobel Prize for Medicine, University President Professor Sir Martin Evans.

Founded by Royal Charter in 1883, today the University combines impressive modern facilities and a dynamic approach to teaching and research. The University's breadth of expertise in research and research-led teaching encompasses: the humanities; the natural, physical, health, life and social sciences; engineering and technology; preparation for a wide range of professions; and a longstanding commitment to lifelong learning. Three major new Research Institutes, offering radical new approaches to neurosciences and mental health, cancer stem cells and sustainable places were announced by the University in 2010. www.cardiff.ac.uk

For further information: Victoria Dando, Public Relations, Cardiff University, Tel: 02920 879074; email: dandov2@cardiff.ac.uk



[ Back to EurekAlert! ] [ | E-mail | Share Share ]

?


AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


Source: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-01/cu-sg011713.php

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Lola's Bohemian Rain: marriage and baby: not for the weak, part I

This post will be the first of a four post series so stay tuned?



Hi, I'm Alexa and I'm a recovering addict. My drug of choice was...relationships, and I was addicted to them and rarely without one?for most of my 20's. A few times I was even offered something more potent than a relationship?a marriage proposal. But that was always the point when I'd cut off emotionally and walk away. So when Alex, my now-husband, proposed, I had no idea what I was about to go through in actually accepting and wanting to get married. And what happened was that I lost my shit.


*****

Our relationship was fast-moving and fiercely passionate from the start. There was very little inhibition or caution. Both of us had some pretty sizable wounds from past relationships, but we were two similar souls, with flames burning so brightly that it was impossible to see the darkness that did indeed lurk in our depths. Nothing was going to stop us from having the kind of love we had held out for as lifelong romantics and dreamers.?

We were consumed by and with one another. We never tired of each other's presence, spending nearly all of our free time together. We were lovers, buddies, road trip warriors, music makers and enthusiasts, adventurers, talk-until-the-sun-comes-up-a-la-sal-and-dean-from-on-the-road kind of crazy 20-somethings. We loved intensely, and we fought intensely?.our suppressed pasts spilling out into the open as we navigated the many phases of our relationship?acquaintances, dating, love, long-distance relationship, cohabitation. We had never felt so vulnerable and exposed, and we were terrified. But, we kept going.



I had survived past relationships with hefty doses of suppression, denial, and dishonesty. Sure, there were the occasional blow-ups that mostly looked like me trying (and failing) to explain the pain I was feeling so intensely, sobbing uncontrollably, and then the inevitable stand-off that would last anywhere from a few hours to a few days?.to a few weeks in the later part of my dating history. In comparison to the version of myself that I would uncover once I started dating Alex, the old me was quite adept at swallowing her emotions and making sure no one, not even herself, was privy to their whereabouts.

I had never experienced something as wild, tumultuous or expressive as I experienced with Alex.?The first few months were your standard bliss-fest and arguments seemed so impossible to imagine ever happening (remember those conversations you had when you first started dating someone like, "I can't imagine ever fighting with you? I mean what in the world would we have to fight about?!?.um, EVERYTHING). The bliss quickly melted into a real relationship, but our spark was unendingly ablaze. Reality was no match for our crazy kind of love. And so, that December, on our one-year anniversary, Alex asked me to marry him.?It was the single-most perfect moment of my life.

With the exception of a ring on my finger and conversations about wedding plans, everything felt the same...until it didn't.

I had been so restrained, so closed-up and controlled before Alex. Occasionally, I would fall to pieces while alone, but mostly I spent my time keeping it together so the world outside would not see the mess that I felt inside. Alex changed that. My well-honed relationship tactics and coping mechanisms were totally obvious and unusable on him. He asked what I was thinking and feeling, and would not let up until a real answer erupted from somewhere deep within me.?We had met our alter egos. We were the same, but in opposite gender bodies (or so we used to say). We could not hide from one another at all. And so, the truth finally came flying out of all the suppressed corners of our beings. And my emotions became completely out of control. I was explosive and unpredictable.

I suddenly found myself with an enormous past that demanded to be addressed and healed on or before my wedding day. For starters, my parents divorced when I was in first grade. Their relationship was incredibly turbulent and left me with memories that still wake me up panicked and afraid in the middle of the night. But then, there was also the string of subsequent marriages/long-term relationships/engagements that they dragged me through. Relationships have been forming and dissolving around me all my life. How could someone like me make a relationship, let alone?a marriage, work? How could I be happy without ever being shown a roadmap? I hadn't been taught to communicate, to cooperate, to love unconditionally, to be loyal or committed.

But, I had one thing that I had been clinging to since I was a kindergartener. While most kids were busy playing, I was busy thinking. And one of the earliest memories I have of actually sitting alone, pondering life in my bedroom, was a promise that I made to myself. I was sad and scared, and I didn't like what was going on between my parents downstairs. So I decided in that moment, with afternoon sunlight streaming across my blue and white flowered Laura Ashley wall paper, that I would never have their life. Of course, all of this was on a rudimentary level, but I have a very distinct memory of when this thought began and the many times I repeated it to myself until I was an adult. I still repeat this to myself.

Along with the wounds of divorce, my childhood also left me incredibly codependent thanks to generations upon generations of alcoholics and codependents occupying my life. This issue alone had left me feeling completely incapable of maneuvering even the most basic parts of daily life. I had known nothing but a diseased, unhealthy, warped, addictive way of living from the time I was born. When I left my home, just a month after I turned eighteen, I was not only faced with the task of adjusting to the independence of college, but also began to learn all the lessons?how to behave, and be, and interact with others?that I should have learned as a child. I made many, many?.many mistakes along the way. My mistakes and codependence, of course, were most notable in the romance department?Alex was no exception. But, I was so aware of myself with Alex that I began really dealing with these issues. I had been a recovering codependent for ten years prior to our relationship, but I was now on some crazy, fast track to health, which was incredibly relieving and empowering, but incredibly messy.

An epic story all its own, my surfacing issues also had a ripple effect throughout my life leaving me temporarily estranged from my family, adding to the pain of already being motherless.

So, here I was, engaged and planning a wedding by myself with an overwhelming number of ghosts lurking in the shadows of my insides. Ironically, the fact that all of this began to make itself known to me was a positive. It was a positive, because I was really, truly healing at last. And it was a positive, because I was with Alex. I had never felt safe, loved unconditionally, or totally supported before so I relied on so many coping mechanisms that allowed me to look like I had my shit together. I didn't need to cope with Alex. I was finally able to let go.

Regardless of the positives, though, my mini enormous breakdown was hard to bear?for me, and for Alex. I had to fall apart to somehow become whole, it felt like the only way. And fall apart I did.

I had been going to?upwards of five support groups a week since just after Alex proposed in December. I was totally dedicated to my recovery and my efforts felt like enough until summer came around.?The closer we got to the wedding, which was planned for October, the more anxious I became. I begged Alex to elope numerous times. While Alex clung to the idea of all our friends and family gathering to celebrate, I was sure that was exactly what would push me over the edge to a place I feared with my entire being. I began to have panic attacks, often daily.There were days I couldn't get out of bed. I started to feel unstable in a way that frightened Alex to such a degree that one hot day in July, he suggested we call off our wedding and reschedule it for a date yet to be determined. I felt like I had failed in that moment, like I was so broken that it was just too much to ask anyone to love me. But, Alex did. Although I spent the rest of that day sobbing, and thrashing underneath the covers of my bed in complete disbelief, it was a turning point. Alex and I started couple's therapy the following week, and I started on a cocktail of medication.

We spent almost three months in therapy.?After our first appointment things felt bleak and we weren't sure how we were going to get through such a challenging time. It felt like we had invited a third party in to add to the already long list of issues we knew we had, and though she never said it, we feared she didn't believe we should get married.?But, at some point in the midst of hours upon days upon weeks of talking, we saw the light. We suddenly worked through what had felt impossible so quickly, because we were ready and because we worked hard. Where we could have folded, we found strength.?And it became abundantly clear to all three of us in that tiny corner office with the uncomfortable, musty old couch, that we were ready to get married.

The night before our wedding I had three different pills lined up on my nightstand, I had lost a noticeable amount of hair and weight, and my eyes were dark and tired. I was far from looking my best. But, the next day was the most effortless and joyful day of my life. As much as I had hoped to look my most beautiful on my wedding day, there was beauty in my resilience, and the resilience of my relationship with Alex. I hadn't experienced my engagement the way I had once envisioned,?but it had a purpose.?Where we once carried glossy daydreams, we found real life.?It ultimately created a relationship that was steady, healthy, and that could stand up to the challenges we would face in the coming years.

Up next: trying to conceive...


Source: http://lolarain.blogspot.com/2013/01/marriage-and-baby-not-for-weak-part-i.html

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Iraqi Kurds defend oil policy, reject BP Kirkuk deal

BAGHDAD: Iraq's Kurdistan has defended its oil policy with foreign companies and its crude trade barter with Turkey as constitutional, and rejected a initial deal between Baghdad and BP to develop an oilfield in the disputed city of Kirkuk.

The statement came after Iraq's oil minister told Reuters Baghdad's central government would sue companies exporting crude from Kurdistan, warned of cuts to autonomous region's federal budget and announced an accord with BP for Kirkuk oilfield.

Iraq's Arab-led central government and Kurdistan Regional Government or KRG run by ethnic Kurds are locked in a widening dispute over control of oil revenues, oilfields and territory that is fraying the country's uneasy federal union.

"Iraq's citizens are simply tired of this sort of language of threat and intimidation, which in the cynical pursuit of narrow political agendas serves only to create division and strife," the KRG said in a statement on its website.

"In terms of oil and gas management, the KRG firmly believes in, and abides by, the letter and spirit of Iraq's permanent, federal constitution."

Speaking to Reuters on Wednesday, Oil Minister Abdul Kareem Luaibi said Baghdad intends to sue Genel Energy - the first company to export oil directly from Kurdistan - and may slash the government's allocated 17 percent budget to the region unless it halts what he rejected as smuggling.

Luaibi announced a preliminary agreement with BP to revive the giant northern Kirkuk oil field, which - apart from being at the centre of the fight between Kurdistan and Iraq - is suffering massive output declines.

"He reveals details of an illegal and unconstitutional plan to allegedly allow BP to enhance the recovery of some of the depleted fields in Kirkuk... without consulting and obtaining approval of the other parties to the dispute," the KRG statement said.

The feud between Baghdad and the Kurdistan enclave, which has run its own regional administration and armed forces since 1991, has escalated since the KRG began signing oil deals with oil majors Exxon Mobil and Chevron to develop fields.

Iraq's government claims it alone has the constitutional authority to export crude oil and sign deals, but Kurdistan says the constitution allows it to agree to contracts and ship oil independently of Baghdad.

Source: http://www.dailystar.com.lb/News/Middle-East/2013/Jan-18/202755-iraqi-kurds-defend-oil-policy-reject-bp-kirkuk-deal.ashx

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